Chance Would be a Fine Thing

Me? I'm a free-wheeling Sheila.
I play poker and blackjack, not brag,
And when I make a bet it won't be on roulette,
So I won't lose my shirt, or my rag.

No! but I'll ramble on gambling
On options and futures, not dice.
I'll talk about shares to the bulls and the bears
And then go away and think twice.

I calculate odds, like other poor sods,
In ponies and monkeys and grands.
When I bet on horses I check out the courses
And which way the wind blows behind the grandstands.

For making a killing is even more thrilling
When everything's carefully planned.
If you're willing to risk it you can take the biscuit.
So! Mettez vos jeux, Mesdames et Messieurs,
Help yourselves! Raise the stakes and be damned.